ソフィアの思考 // there's no world outside

this entry is actually dedicated to someone I know who just broke up recently. I feel sorry for him and for his ex-gf who really shouldn't have done all that. I know he has his faults. Faults that are maybe worst then I can imagine and that I may not know and that his friends may not know. But really come to think of it ex-gf, where were the times that you spent happy together? The entry only shows how really big-hearted you are when things just didn't happen the way it should. I really feel sorry for the both of you. But more so, you ex-gf.

Below is a snippet I placed on Facebook and I think it applies across the universe. Everything happens for a reason. Live and let live.

♥ when together, fight to understand and give your best. when all fails, apologise say thank you and cherish the memories. you don't have to tell the world. you don't have to explain to the world. for they don't owe you anything. they don't even need to know. because. both of you knows best and it's for no one to judge. ♥



Really people. In this life. Love more. Hate less. Risk more. Shield less. Because in the end. There is only one life that you are living now. Live your best.

♥ To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. ♥

Dear God, this is what I wish for everyone tonight. Let no one who loves be unhappy. For I believe even love unreturned has its rainbow.

 “Do you know. That love is when you shed a tear and still want her, it's when she ignores you and you still love her, it's when she loves another person but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

"Well then, you can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want. Which is to smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

"But do you know. That one of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.”

"Hey. If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were meant to be.”

"That's the thing. Isn't it sad how in life, that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let her go.”

"I understand. But. Think of it this way. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

"This is my wish for her. And for you too. Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

"Wish that for yourself too. And also never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”

      I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

feelings. what are feelings exactly? let's see now.

so now I know feelings has such a complex definition

since when have I resorted to finding definitions for every word that comes into my mind. age must be catching up with me. till I myself am not sure of how to exactly explain a word. in this case, I am still trying to make rational and sensible me take over my current mashed-up state. I swear I felt like mashed potatoes recently. not that I have been eating much. FINE. I AM CRAPPING. SLAP ME AND I WILL SNIP YOUR HAIR.

anyway. in this entry. I would like to debate with Neil Gaiman. below is a very famous quote from him regarding feelings about the crazy thing everyone calls love.

"Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life . . . You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like maybe we should just be friends or how very perceptive turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

so in the end he says he hates love.

do you really think so? I for once am in doubt if he really hates love. but anyway if he really does, then I will have to disagree. love for once is still the one thing I believe in.

for without love, passion doesn't come and you wouldn't know what you are living for. everything doesn't seem to make sense, your everyday life is just mundane and passing, emptiness becomes your best friend and you just live life aimlessly. here I am not saying just towards love in a relationship, but more so on the love for everything and anything.

for example, if you don't have a love for something then how do you even derive the passion to continue doing it? you need to fall in love with it for that moment before the passion sets in for you to go forward. it can be anything. be it singing, playing an instrument, dancing, drawing, gardening, pottery, sports, travelling, working, pets, idols, music, life, etc. and of course. the craziest and most confusing of all love in itself. the love between two persons.

what is this tired that is so strong that it can make a person fall into total depression?

what is this tired that is so strong that it can make a person forget who he really is and what he is living for?

what is this tired that is so strong that it can make a person want to leave this world for good?

RIP Park Yong-Ha.

~君が嫌いな君が好き~ "I like you even though you hate yourself"

it's a song by KAT-TUN  that yes again I am currently kind of addicted to. but more so because I feel that there's a deep meaning to this sentence. which is simple yet intense.

gosh, I just came back from a double jakarta flight. eleven hours with 3 transit cleaning and saying hi, bye, thank you for approximately 512 times is seriously no joke. I am tired. I really am.  but what is the ironic thing? that is I am not tired when it comes to watching dear Kame and darling Jin. wth.  so for the record, I jus downloaded at least another fifteen more videos of KAT-TUN yesterday.

there is really this thought in me. that is I would really want to see what it's like to have a japanese boyfriend for once. just maybe a casual relationship that spans say a month to 3 mths at most? I am afraid of marrying them and if possible no too since well I guess most people knows the most obvious reason.  but that aside, I will still want to end up spending the next better half of my life with a good simple asian chinese man.

what have I been up to really? well I guess I'll just update with photos because as they say, "a picture speaks a thousand words" so here goes nothing!!


YEAH!! I finally did something that I have been wanting to do for the longest time. That is to dress up and wear a blonde wig out.
personally I love this look.
"whatever they say, don't listen girl."


and this is how my hair looks like from the back view. keke~


and in case you might be wondering where my bag comes from, it is an agnes b tote bag that comes with the summer collection booklet that is selling at 1200yen. convert them into sing dollars and probably add another $10 to get the rough amt I paid for it. I bought it in KL anyway since they don't seem to sell it here in the Singapore Kinokuniya outlets. hmm.

and of course, to complement each post - there ALWAYS has to be a dose of Kamenashi Kazuya. or... maybe a few. 


PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOU WON'T LOVE HIM!!!!
ADFSJFLJGJSIFNEFCNLCVA!!!  


*faints*  somebodyanybodybringmeanoxygenbottleplsplsplspls


see~~~ can u feel the love??  I BELIEVE IN AKAME. ALWAYS.

 till another post.
please keep the faith and as always.
love and respect.  




 xoxo, -sophia-